Bad relationship are just that, BAD! They have a profound impact on our psyche in more ways than we realize. I know we can all think of a lot of reasons to leave a bad relationship. However, there are some things we often overlook when we are in a bad relationship and trying to decide whether or not to leave. These things, although commonly overlooked, are often the some of the main reasons why we must muster the courage to walk away.
Top Reasons to Walk Away
#1. Your view of reality becomes distorted. When we are in bad relationships with a person we love and trust, and they hurt us again and again or they disappoint us and show no genuine desire to change, it impacts how we think. We begin to live in ways that are not normal. You often develop unhealthy ways of coping with dysfunction. Usually this involves suppressing true feelings or responding in very reactive and unpredictable ways. After awhile, you can begin to think that there is some degree of normalcy in the relationship because the level of dysfunction becomes so common to you. You lose your ability to be objective and horrified at what may be taking place. It’s often not until you get out of the relationship that you realize the insanity of what you were dealing with and participating in daily.
# 2. Your sense of self worth is severely impacted. In reality, we find ourselves in destructive relationships in the first place due to feelings of not being worthy. These feelings of unworthiness become even more pronounced when we are with an individual who mistreats us and doesn’t value us. When we haven’t set boundaries regarding who or what we will allow into our lives, it becomes easier to find ourselves in a situation that doesn’t serve our highest good.
Destructive relationships don’t cultivate our physical, spiritual, mental and emotional health. They drain us of our life force energy and make us feel not good enough. We are often on an emotional roller coaster, and our lives grow more and more out of control. These kinds of unhealthy relationships also impact our internal dialogue with ourselves. A person may begin to harshly criticize him or herself for putting up with an unhealthy situation and then not being able to put a stop to what is going on. In worse cases, the victim begins to see him or herself through the eyes of the perpetrator.
#3. By staying in a dysfunctional relationship, you guarantee that other parts of your life will be dysfunctional. Usually relationships with family members and friends are strained when you are involved in a bad relationship. You can not only become isolated and withdrawn, you can become estranged from the very people who care about you. Even the ability to care for your children in the best way possible will be compromised. Your ability to be effective and present on your job is affected as well when you are in a bad relationship.
Areas of health and wellness, and your ability to enjoy life to the fullest take a serious hit too. You may find that the hobbies that gave your enjoyment are no longer things you do anymore. The relationship dysfunction becomes so primary in your life that it prevents you from fueling other constructive pursuits. Relationships usually command a significant portion of our time and take up a lot of emotional space in our life. So, when they are not supportive and nurturing, it impairs us on many levels.
#4. When you are in a bad relationship, it take a serious toll on your health. Bad relationships suck the life out of you. They deplete you financially, emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. As the heart and soul communicate our dissatisfaction with the relationship, we are usually in denial about our circumstances. We make excuses for behaviors and things that we would normally not accept. This creates an inner turmoil which contributes to anxiety, insomnia, depression, grieving and many other health problems. These emotions can begin to manifest as actual physical health problems. This is not to mention what you may be suffering physically if you are in a physically abusive relationship. The chronic stress of a bad relationship is sure to interfere with your overall health and wellness and can quite possibly cause long-term health issues.
#5. Remaining in a relationship that is destructive causes you to loose valuable periods of time in your life. Often, when we are in bad relationships, we make excuses for why we should make it work. As we suffer, time passes us by. We can look up one day and not believe how much time we have put in to something that has not served us. This alone can be a huge drain on us as we think of all of the things we may have been able to accomplish had we been willing to just let go of the pain. Life is precious and we deserve to give ourselves the gift of happiness and fulfillment. When you are happy and fulfilled, you live passionately and pursue growth opportunites to move your life forward. When you are stuck in a bad relationship, years can pass and opportunities will elude you, as will the energy to make a change for the better.
#6. Until you close the door on a bad relationship, you can’t begin a healthy relationship with anyone else or even yourself. As long as the energy of the negative relationship is with you, you will not be able to move on and experience all the blessings life has waiting for you. You must release the pain and chaos of a bad relationship so that you can cultivate the healthy frame of mind that is needed to move forward. As you release what has been holding you back, you can make space to bring new, healthier energies in your life. As you forgive yourself, and learn to be more self-loving and compassionate towards yourself, you will feel better about yourself and will reflect this renewed sense of self-worth.
#7 An unhealthy relationship creates trauma. The regular patterns of repressed emotion, tension, unpredictability, hostility, and volatility impact us psychologically. Bear in mind that it’s not the event itself that determines the trauma, its the individual’s experience of the event. You can find yourself feeling defensive, threatened, anxious or afraid on a regular basis. Traumatic events can take a serious emotional toll on the people involved. This is true even if the event didn’t cause physical damage. You can experience having flashbacks of things that harmed you. Even still, the trauma, if not healed, can cause you to approach new beginnings with distrust and angst. The longer we stay in an unhealthy relationships, the more emotional baggage we amass. The sooner you leave a relationship that you know is no longer good for you, the sooner you can begin the healing that is necessary to move full steam ahead.
Butterfly Questions for Consideration:
- How is this relationship impacting me physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually?
- How is my relationship impacting other loved ones?
- How does this person make me feel about myself?
- How do I feel about myself on a daily basis?
- How does my body respond to this relationship?
- What ways have I allowed myself to be disempowered?
- What things am I putting up with that I know are insane?
- Why am I really making excuses for this person?
- What can I do to regain control over my life?
Butterfly Activities to Develop Clarity:
- Ask a loved one how they view your situation from the outside? How have you changed? How do they feel the relationship has impacted you?
- Make a list of all of the things you no longer do due to the negative impact of the relationship.
- Begin journaling so that you can get a clearer picture of what is going on in your life. review your entries regularly to inspire change.
Use these affirmations to affirm the truth of who you are and what you deserve. Say them aloud each morning in the bathroom facing the mirror. Believe them. Live them.
- I am worthy
- I deserve to be treated with respect.
- I am lovable.
- I am perfect just the way I was created.
- I am empowered to make changes in my life at any time.
- I am capable of taking my life in a better direction.
- I am fine on my own.
Tunisia Ali © 2017 Butterfly Transformations www.butterflytransformations.com