From the moment we enter the world, part of our learning process begins with being coached on how to act, how to behave, how to fit in, and how to mask who we really are. We are indoctrinated such that an important part of our existence involves relinquishing the nature of who we are as individuals. Whether its trying to fulfill our parent’s wishes as we mature, conforming to our community’s expectations of us, fitting in on the job, or molding ourselves and our identity according to what is socially acceptable, we learn very early on that fitting in is equated with personal and professional success. In a real sense, there is no way that we can be anything other than who we are, yet it becomes just that- an attempt at wearing a mask day in and day out. In an effort to be accepted and limit obstacles, we play the role that makes everyone else comfortable. Over time, we begin to nurture a very false sense of ourself.
This false sense of self often makes us feel uncomfortable as we try to suppress who we really are, what dreams and passions we really have, and how we want to live our lives. For most of us, the process of becoming something we really were not isn’t something easily identifiable to us. It can be difficult to decipher when we crossed the line and made what was important to others more important than out own happiness. For sure though, most of us just know that one day we looked up and realized we were not happy with who we were. A feeling of being overwhelmed ensued, as the spiritual struggle began to consciously take shape.
Indeed, the initial metamorphosis likely began with the best of intentions. However, keeping up appearances and ‘playing the part’ eventually became more stressful. This is when one finds him or herself at a crossroads. At this point, critical self-examination is necessary. Who am I? What am I risking to please others? What do I really want? What do I stand to lose daring to be me? Why do I care so much about what others think?
These feelings of not fitting in, or not being accepted cause a preoccupation with what others think. This causes a further disconnect and disharmony between what we feel, what we say, and what we do. We look over our shoulders. We censor what we say and do. We form a protective armor over our self-portrayal to the point that we (and others) can confuse our image with who we really are. As a result, we cascade down the path of spiritual imbalance.
At times, we defend this projected image to our demise creating further inner turmoil. In worse case scenarios, this false life we sometimes lead, causes us to judge this same weakness in others very harshly. In fact, we tend to see our specific challenges in others, as everyone in our life mirrors us in some way. The irony, however, is that rather than embrace and support these people, we criticize them and see little similarity with our own situation. At this point however, we have sublimated who we are to such an extent that we fail to see ourselves in others.
Whenever we cover ourselves (in any way), or fail to remain true to the tenants of who we are, we suffer a sort of spiritual death-a pain in our gut, in our heart. We stress about matters that would we would be free of if we could and would live authentically and speak our unique truth. This misalignment with our true nature creates an inner turmoil which often has serious consequences.
We become hostage to an identity that does not serve our highest good, bringing our soul’s evolution to a halt. We, in effect,shut down our ability to communicate the truth of who we are. From an energy standpoint, we literally block our throat chakra. This impacts the energetic balance within our physical and emotional, mental, and spiritual bodies. We become unhappy, confused, restless, and enslaved to the perceptions of others. We can even become physically ill. We are no longer free. We have relinquished our divine birthright to express our soul’s truth. We stifle our self development, as only within fertile ground can we and our identity grow.
So what the heck can we do to ease this affliction?
We commit to honoring who we are. We embrace the notion that we deserve more from life. We build our courage slowly in bite size pieces by doing small things to augment who we are. We accept that we cannot please others and that there are some things that we shouldn’t sacrifice. Finally, we take the plunge, trusting in the unknown and having faith that all of life’s circumstances are always working toward our highest good. We endeavor to live from a soul level, in truth, knowing that the only real consequences are a passion-filled life. We do this by using our ‘body as a barometer’ to tell us when we are out of alignment with our truth. In other words, we respect our emotions and attend to bodily sensations that have a deeper sense of awareness than our conscious minds do, which are often out of sync with inner knowings. We respect other’s rights not to embrace us, if they so choose. With our increased vibration and new alignment, we consciously reprogram ourselves to believe that the right support will be attracted to our authenticity in the form of new friends, alliances and experiences.
Interestingly enough, we need to live authentically in order to really be able to live fully and grow into our best version. This is when life really gets good, when we no longer have to hide. When we can come out of the closet with whatever our truth may be, giving others the motivation and inspiration to do the same, we are of service to ourselves and the world at large. We need freedom to do this. All of us owe it to ourselves to give ourselves the permission and freedom to express our truth fearlessly.
There is something miraculous that happens when you escape the prison that you have created and affirmed with your actions. A sense of relief and inner joy descend and you are reborn again. You begin the process of learning to love your self. Your self-esteem is nourished and you begin to feel more confident, feeling less indebted to others. One of the most profound consequences of facing your fear of daring to be you is that you realize once you do it just how easy it actually was. You almost cannot believe how long you lived in fear, wearing that darn mask!!
You can now live without fear, testing the limits of your capacity to be even more authentic. You more easily get in step with divine accord finding your purpose in life and living from your soul. This is when the real learning occurs, as we are never left here to experience our sojourn on this earth without being tested. This sort of planet school or classroom of life is constantly offering up a curriculum that is surely challenging us to become our best version. As we are enrolled in and master one class, others are served up. On the other hand, when we fail courses, we repeat them until we pass.
Carefully and thoughtfully consider your responses to the questions below and take action in your favor to free yourself.
Butterfly Questions to Ponder:
- In what ways am I not being true to who I really am and what I really want?
- In what ways am I pleasing others in a way that displeases me?
- What happens inside as I become more aware of the inner turmoil this is causing?
- What do I stand to lose if I express my truth?
- What do I stand to gain if I express my truth?
- If my world were perfect, who would I be and what would express to the world?
Butterfly Tips and Activities:
- Always remember that those people that truly love you will eventually accept your decision to be more authentic. If they fail to accept you, at the very least they will have to respect your right to do so.
- When you suppress your needs, you pay for it with exhausting inner turmoil.
- Once you step out of fear, you realize your true power to create the life you want.
- Trying to please ‘the people’ is a never ending circle. You will NEVER be able to please ‘the people’, and they will gossip and talk no matter what you do. Nurture strength of spirit to insulate you from what others think and say. Affirm yourself.
- Surround yourself with people who affirm you, support you, and love you.
I am a spark in the field of infinite possibilities.
I have right to live my life in the way I choose.
I am complete in and of myself, needing approval from no one.
As I live authentically, I align myself with high vibrations that manifest my intentions.